Lesson Tasks:
[progressally_objectives]
People always ask me, “When is the best time of day to meditate?”
Here’s the answer:
The best time of day to meditate is the time of day that YOU will meditate!
For me, it’s first thing in the morning. For you, it might be at lunchtime or after the kids are in bed or right before you go to sleep. Pick a time of day that works for your schedule, and when you can remain alert.
I like mornings because it’s a nice ritual to wake up in my quiet house, pour some coffee, light a candle, and sit in the peaceful darkness. I also like that the first thing I do in the day is for ME, and I don’t need to worry during the day about when I can find time to meditate. I find I am too tired in the afternoon and evenings. But those times may work for you.
I’ll say this many times in this course, but you are your own best teacher. Listen to what’s right for YOU. I will recommend, however, that you try to stick to a consistent routine — if you choose mornings, try to make it every morning. It’s hard for us to get into any kind of habit, whether it’s meditating or brushing our teeth, if we are not consistent.
In Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit, he provides excellent advice for establishing new habits and making them stick. The key is understanding the habit loop:
cue —> behavior —> reward
You’ll be more likely to maintain your habit if the cue is an everyday event (getting out of bed, sitting down at your desk at lunchtime, tucking the kids into bed, or brushing your teeth before bed). You want that cue, or trigger, to signal to you that it’s time to meditate (behavior). Each time the habit loop happens, you lay down neural pathways in the brain for that behavior. The more you do it, the more ingrained the behavior becomes.
Then you can get to the point where every time you brush your teeth at night (for example), you know it’s time to meditate and you just go do it. It becomes part of your routine.
When you’re starting, you may want to find an external reward to complete the habit loop — perhaps a cup of coffee, or a few minutes on Facebook? Eventually, you’ll likely find that meditation itself becomes its own reward, but it helps to start with something a bit more tangible. Mindfulness teacher Shinzen Young writes,
“Researchers in the field of positive psychology have shown that a highly focused state is per se rewarding even if what’s focused on is not intrinsically interesting or pleasant. I would state this somewhat differently: Concentration has its own distinctive ‘reward flavor.’ … As one’s mindfulness skills grow, these reward flavors become increasingly tangible and immediate.”
Be patient with yourself in establishing this new habit. Adding something new to our routine, or changing our old routines, is really hard! In The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod, he states that often the first 10 days of a new habit are unbearable. If you’re trying to establish an exercise routine, for example, you’re going to be sore and tired for the first few days. And then around day 10, it starts to get a little easier, and you begin to see some benefits from your workouts. And after another 10 days, you might even like doing it. ?
Meditation can be the same way. The first few times may feel awkward. But stick with it, and you will see the benefits!
And forget the conventional wisdom that says you just need to do it for 21 days — recent research says you need, on average, 66 days for a habit to become ingrained!
Don’t Find the Time — Make the Time!
If you tell yourself you’re going to “find” the time in your schedule for meditation, you probably won’t do it. We all feel like we have such busy schedules that we can’t possibly squeeze something else in! You need to MAKE the time. You’ve signed up for this course, which indicates you want to make this change. Here’s where the rubber meets the road — you need to schedule time for meditation.
An old zen proverb says that when a student asked his master how long he should meditate, his master said, “One hour each day.” The student was aghast: “But what if I don’t have an hour each day?”
The master replied, “Then meditate for two hours.”
If you say you don’t have five minutes to meditate each day, YOU REALLY NEED TO MEDITATE! We all have five minutes — we just need to make it a priority.
Your Mindfulness Plan
Click this link (My Mindfulness Plan) to download your mindfulness plan — it walks you through some questions to help you determine the best time of day to meditate, and it has a weekly schedule on it so you can commit to paper your intentions for your practice.
Join the Conversation!
Once you’ve decided on your mindfulness plan, share your intentions with us (you can do so in the Facebook group)! Sometimes just proclaiming something publicly (“I am going to meditate for 5 minutes each night before bed”) helps you stick to it.
Remember that intentions are just that — intentions. Remember our foundational attitudes of mindfulness, especially nonjudging and patience. If you miss a day, you miss a day. Don’t beat yourself up about or think you’ve “failed” mindfulness! Acknowledge what your intention is, and start anew the next day. That’s all we really can do, right?