[progressally_objectives]
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
— Jelaluddin Rumi,
translation by Coleman Barks
I absolutely LOVE that poem! So eloquent, so short and sweet, so brilliant! How can we learn to be gracious hosts to our emotions?
One way we can greet our emotions as welcome visitors is … to literally greet them! I first learned of this practice in Sarah Napthali’s Buddhism for Mothers. Napthali writes that when she senses herself getting angry, she says (to herself), “Hello anger!”
It feels really cheesy to do this, but I swear to you, it works! If I sense frustration, I can say, with a kind voice, “Oh, hello frustration. It’s you again…” Compare this to how we might normally react, getting lost in story rather than identifying what’s going on.
I will try to greet my anxiety — “Oh, anxiety is here!” I recognize anxiety as my body’s response to a threat. I let it move through me without taking me over. It’s simply a temporary visitor, after all. As obnoxious as our house guests can be, they all eventually leave, right?
When we approach our emotions in this way, with a kind and compassionate greeting, we create space.
In that brief space, we can gain some valuable perspective, welcoming our emotion, learning from it, and responding effectively.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Victor Frankl
I think the lines above from Victor Frankl summarize the essence of mindfulness. We are learning to pause. Even if it’s just one full inhale and exhale, we can find space — to calm down, to center ourselves, to reflect, to think, to RESPOND, instead of REACT.
If you could have more of anything you wanted, BESIDES time and money, what would it be?
For many of us, what we desire is space — even if it’s just the space between one in-breath and one out-breath. As we cultivate mindfulness of emotions, and as we continue our daily practice, we will find it easier to drop into that mindful awareness. We will find the space to greet our emotions as welcome teachers.
Download the funsheet below for a copy of the poem above, and some reflection questions about what it would be like to greet and entertain emotions as welcome visitors, even if they do try to destroy our homes!