The Summer Day
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
– Mary Oliver
Oh, I just love love LOVE that poem! And though it’s widely known for those last two lines — the call to ponder how we will spend our one amazing lifetime — my favorite lines are these:
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Indeed, what else IS there to do BUT pay attention and be FULLY PRESENT each day? That is our great calling for the year ahead – to be present. As Sam Harris tells us, it’s all that we really truly want:
Good enough reasons to be satisfied NOW. I love that line. YES, we want to have goals and ambitions and things we work toward (and we’ll start nailing those down next week). But we mustn’t lose sight of the beauty and goodness or even okayness that is right here every moment — the amazing eyes of the grasshopper intricately chewing her food, or the gorgeous fluffy snowfall I’m watching as I type this:
Because here’s the BIG SECRET: WE ARE HAPPIEST WHEN WE ARE PRESENT. Science backs this up, and your personal experience likely does as well.
And it is when we are fully present that we can start thinking about those ending lines: What are we going to do with our one crazy and amazing life?
DREAM BIG
Okay, take a deep breath. Or five. Allow yourself a bit of time for this exercise. Get a warm beverage, light a candle or get some essential oils diffusing, and give yourself some space for some big questions. (Click here for the download).
As you complete the download above, just DREAM BIG. Don’t limit yourself by statements like, “I would never actually do that” or “That’s impossible!” If you’ve dreamed of becoming an astronaut, write it down! This is just brainstorming (remember, this week is about gathering data)…. This isn’t your to-do list for next week!
These exercises help you reflect on the things you want to do…. and the even BIGGER question: WHY?
Why are you here? Like, for real, big time, WHY ARE YOU HERE ON EARTH? WHAT IS YOUR LIFE PURPOSE?
ACK! I know! Those questions are so big and terrifying…. But spend some time with the downloads in this lesson, as well as what you have completed from the previous exercises. The life values you identified in the previous lesson will be especially helpful.
Your WHY does not have to be an incredibly specific “goal” — e.g., “I am here to be the world’s best commercial airline pilot.” In fact, it’s better if it is more general. Our WHY is similar to our values — it should be a verb, an action that is completely in our control, and is never fully accomplished (I mean, if your WHY is “I am here to earn a degree in History,” then what do you do with the rest of your life?)
Our WHY is also something that doesn’t change much throughout our lives. For example, after much soul-searching and meditating and reflecting (years’ worth!), I have come to the conclusion that my WHY, my PURPOSE, my ultimate VALUE, is COMPASSION.
But compassion is a noun — so when I “verb” it, it becomes, “I am here to act compassionately, to treat others with love and acceptance and kindness, and to teach compassionate presence and awareness to others.”
If that sounds big and grandiose and audacious, well… I think our WHYs and PURPOSEs should be!
And here’s the thing: I can live out my WHY and my PURPOSE in many different ways: as a mother, as a classroom teacher, as a friend, as a mindfulness instructor, as a wife, as a customer in the checkout line at Target, and as a writer. My WHY is not the same thing as my job or my hobbies…. but knowing my WHY informs the work I choose to do and the pursuits I choose to follow.
Again, all of this work this week is about figuring out our compass — what are the values that guide our decisions? If we have a sense of why we’re here and what purpose we want to serve, and we are present and aware throughout our days, we will make skillful choices about how to spend our time and energy. We can live in alignment with our deepest values.
Our WHY is also what helps us with an incredibly vital task: SAYING NO. You’ve probably experienced times when you’ve taken on too much — and not just because people asked you do things, but because YOU chose to do ALL THE THINGS because THEY ALL SEEM AMAZING! Well, when you know your WHY and your VALUES and your PURPOSE, it becomes a lot easier to say no. If something doesn’t align with your life purpose, or what you hold important, then say no. In fact, any time it’s not a “Hell, YES!!!”, say “No.”
Having this BIG PICTURE clarity allows us to go from feeling like we’re in the middle of a vast ocean, to feeling like we’re floating down a wide river — we have direction, we know where we’re going, we’re held comfortably by the banks of the river, and if we decide to follow an adjoining stream, we make the decision wisely. The river does not constrain us — it guides us.
And our WHY has one other important function — it gives us motivation. There’s a famous story told of two medieval builders, adding brick upon brick to a structure. One of the workers, when asked, described the drudgery of his work — more bricks, more mortar, more effort, more strain. He was burnt out and exhausted by the day-to-day exertion. The second worker, when asked, expressed joy about his efforts: “I’m building a CATHEDRAL!”
Our why is our cathedral. Actually, it’s the path to the cathedral.
When we know where we’re going and why we’re going there, the journey becomes the destination. The journey becomes the joy.
So go ahead and download your funsheets and start reflecting on your BIG PICTURE.
- Values and WHYs
- Words and Feelings — this funsheet walks you through some reflections on how you want to feel this year, and helps you identify your potential WORD for the year. Though you certainly don’t need one, I always find it helpful to choose a word of the year to guide my actions and choices — it’s much more gentle than setting a hard resolution, and helps me navigate the year according to my values. For example, this year my word is SIMPLIFY. I’m feeling a need to declutter, to gain focus in my business, to streamline my schedule, to stick to a personal budget, etc., so as I make decisions, I ask myself, “Is this helping me simplify? Is this making things clearer?”
Share any insights, dreams, fears, WHYs, etc. in the comments below!
Oh God! This is hard.
I´m with this excercises over and over again… I get distracted, wonder, I´m evasive. I have not idea what my cathedral is…
I really want to do this, but my head is going to explote… is the “big picture” the way that’s supposed to be at this moment?
I mean, I´m a wife, because I already married. I´m a occupatinal therapy because I been studing and working in this for the last 10 years. I´m a mother because I already have two kids.
Have I mindful chosend all that? If I did, how can I know that this is “the best big picture” for me?
I´m not sure how did I get here. I can´t undo the path I´ve done until here. I certainlly don´t have any idea where I´m going, my direction, my purpose, my cathedral… I am not getting any where. I´m stuck.
I really want to do this, but I don´t know how.
I think a lot of us can relate to this! You could spend lots of time on these questions, and that’s okay, so don’t worry if the answers aren’t coming right away. Certainly we cannot change the path we have been on up to this moment; with mindfulness, we can honor and appreciate where we are, knowing we always have a choice in the present, even though our choice may simply be to make peace with what is. If we are in situations that we have chosen unmindfully, that’s okay — we can change them, or soften into them. We can look at our choices we’ve made with lots of compassion and understanding, and see them as a tool for growth.
As for the big picture, I guess it’s more looking at the future, but in a way that gets more detailed into how you want to feel and how you want to impact the world, exploring the legacy you want to leave. And then from that, working backward to the present moment and determining the steps that will get us there.
I hope this helps — they’re big questions…. and that’s why they’re so hard!
This is more of a house keeping issue. I just noticed I can’t get checkmarks for all of the items. Is that the way it is or is there a glitch?
I’ll look into this!