Our final guest instructor is Lisa McCrohan, who is a somatic psychologist and compassion coach. She weaves together yoga, mindfulness, neuroscience, trauma-healing, meditation, energy work and the spiritual poetry of the mystics. Her work focuses on bringing this integrative, mind-body approach to support individuals, and parents in particular, in deepening their self-compassion and creating space for their own healing so that they live, and parent, from a more resourced, compassionate place.
In this interview, you’ll learn more about how to reduce your stress by cultivating greater kindness for yourself.
How did your life path lead you to these mind-body practices?
The longer story is that in college, I was a business major focused on working in social justice and nonprofit settings. I was interning at a free clinic near college. I saw how patients would come to the clinic looking for a solution to their pain. They’d get a diagnosis and usually a prescription, and then go on their way. I started to ask, “But WHY___?!” Why is she anxious? Why does his stomach hurt? Why did she put off coming to the clinic? Why does he have diabetes?
As a student of meditation, a writer and interest in the spiritual mystics, I knew it back then that our life stories and traumas show up in our bodies. And I wanted to go deeper into the root causes of suffering from a body-centered, spiritual approach.
I trained in yoga therapy, energy work, psychotherapy, theology, mindfulness and meditation. From working in post-war Guatemala and El Salvador, to teaching faculty and staff at Georgetown University, I have been about supporting those I meet with body-centered practices that nourish the nervous system, spirit, and relationships to heal the root causes of their suffering.
As a mom, I see firsthand how if we want a more compassionate world, then it must begin with our own self. So much of my work is about self-compassion. Pretty much every person whom I have ever seen in coaching or counseling treats themselves with such harshness. Our work begins with healing the root causes of such harshness and practices for treating one’s self with compassion. It is from this place of deep self-regard and self-honoring that then one can be a deeply compassionate presence for others and truly SEE them.
What changes have you noticed in your life since beginning your mindfulness and yoga practices?
This has been a 25 year journey of “softening again and again” and practicing having compassion for my own self and seeing how this compassion then organically flows from me to my family, my clients, and this world. Here are the biggest changes I have noticed:
- I’m less anxious. Many of the root causes of my anxiety have been held, tended to, and, quite frankly, healed.
- I look back and see how the gentleness with which I walk on the earth, interact with people, and treat myself has deepened.
- Less effort. There is less striving with me and more “allowing.” There is a balanced feeling of “right effort” within me. There’s less forcing, more allowing.
- More and more, I surrender rather than putting forth lots of efforting and striving (which I used to as a young adult!)
- Delight and gratitude. Delight and gratitude organically arise within me in my day.
- I look and see how, over time, I have softened – softened my judgments, expectations…and even my “look” – how I look at others and myself.
- Self-compassion and grounding practices come more quickly to me now in the moment of stress or shame.
- When I am struggling with something, I pause and sit with it for awhile. In doing so, the action to take arises more easily on its own.
- What influences all my actions and way of being is my devotion to the divine and my ever-deepening practice of listening within.
How do the mind-body practices that you teach help us…
Connect to the body?
The self-compassion and healing that I teach are all about body-centered awareness. Gently, skillfully, slowly, we learn to deeply listen to the body. Our issues are in our tissues! The “posture” we take is one that believes in the innate wisdom of the body and the interconnectivity of the brain, body and spirit. We create the space to skillfully notice the sensations and allow what is here. This is how we heal.
Reduce stress?
In the practices I teach, it begins with pausing. This pausing begins to regulate the nervous system. We allow space for the nervous system to do what is organically was designed to do – organically moving from “fight or flight” to “rest and digest.” This reduces the impact of the chronic stress we are always holding in our bodies.
Improve health or produce other benefits?
Trauma manifests itself in different ways. Often people come to me who have dysregulation in their nervous systems. They can feel stuck, anxious, controlling, depressed, and full of rage. Through practices of self-compassion, clients begin to see how their vitality and energy return. They move from “I can’t” to “I can.” This shift – from “can’t” to “can” – is everything.
How does your practice help you connect to your body? What have you learned about yourself and/or your body through this practice?
As a mom, self-compassion supports me in having compassion for my dear ones! I am more able to respond instead of react. And when I DO react, I catch myself pretty quickly into the process and am able to “begin again.”
In practicing self-compassion, I learned years back that my body was just not meant for commuting! I have created a schedule that is aligned with the rhythms of my body – not someone else’s “should’s.” I give myself time to move my body every day. I see the healing practitioners that support my well-being.
I try and live in a way that is about delight The ancient mystical poet, Hafiz, said it beautifully, “One regret, dear world, that I am determined not to have when I am lying on my deathbed is that I did not kiss you enough.”
What is your favorite, go-to form of self-care?
I’m big on self-care. I believe it is our responsibility as practioners and healers to be engaged in ongoing self-care. I ask myself, “What kind of self-care do I need in this season of my life right now?”
Right now, that is walking, seeing my own body-centered practitioner and painting.
Can you give us an example of a time when you were really stressed, and you turned to your mind-body practice for relief?
Mornings can be stressful! It took me a few years to figure this out: multitasking in the mornings for me = stressed out mama! I realized that I was trying to do too much, tend to too much and get too much done in the morning. Too many expectations of myself for the morning led me to be reactive, then full of regret, and feeling ashamed.
What I learned to do over time is this:
- Get grounded.
- Say, to myself, “It’s ok….” It’s ok to feel stressed, annoyed, anxious….etc.
- Soften the muscles in my body, soften my judgment, soften my expectations.
- Say to myself, “This is hard.”
And then wise action (responding vs. reacting) arises.
I keep in the forefront of my mind that what matters most in the morning in connection. So now I put down what I am doing when they wake up, I let go of any expectations of myself, and focus on connecting with my family.
What advice would you give to someone who has never practiced self-compssion, or tries it and thinks they’re “doing it wrong”?
If someone had never really explored self-compassion, I’d say to start small. Start with noticing the harsh words that you say to yourself. Start with practicing saying to yourself, “It’s okay, Love.” Yes, start with calling yourself “Love.”
When you feel like you “mess up”? Begin again. Begin again in the next moment. Just put your hand on your heart. Feel the earth beneath you.
How can we practice self-compassion?
Every one of us gets triggered and then we can react in ways that are unkind or harsh. When we notice we’ve done this, we can often then judge ourselves pretty harshly. We “turn on ourselves.” The Inner Critic starts in. When you notice this happening, pause. Feel your feet on the earth. Put your hand on your heart. Say to yourself, “It’s okay, Love” or “I see you are suffering right now” and “This is hard.”
These simple gestures and words are powerful. They soften the Inner Critic. They promote understanding and kindness. And they promote “wise, compassionate action.”
Thank you Lisa! You can learn more about Lisa on her website here.
You can find some helpful practices for self-compassion here.