You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Mary Oliver

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So we’ve covered what mindfulness is, and is not, you’ve created a practice plan, and you’ve learned about how to sit. Hopefully, you’ve been able to find time in your day for five minutes of silence and stillness. And if you haven’t? Don’t worry. You’ll do it when you’re ready.

But now you may be wondering, “What do I actually DO when I meditate?”

I think part of why people always ask this question is because meditation stock photos make it look like meditation is going to be AMAZING and FULL OF INSIGHTS AND EPIPHANIES and MY CHAKRAS ARE EXPLODING OUT OF MY HEAD and I AM SO BLISSED OUT RIGHT NOW THE SUN SHINES DIRECTLY UPON ME IN THIS GORGEOUS OPEN FIELD.

(That’s why I chose the picture of boring office man meditating above. Though who sits on top of their desk to meditate?)

So we try meditation for the first time: we sit in silence… and realize it’s kind of boring… and then because we’re bored our mind looks for some stimulation and we think about things like did I forget Aunt Josey’s birthday last week? And then we realize we’re thinking about something and then we try to focus on our breath and then our mind wanders again and we think man, I suck at this…

Guess what? That’s meditation! It’s often not very glamorous. You might think you’re doing it wrong. (Hint: you’re not).

So here’s what you can do…

[Before beginning a meditation practice, it may be helpful to identify a special place where you will meditate – perhaps a corner of your room, or a special area of your house (or a wide open meadow with sunflowers and gorgeous fluffy dandelions, if you have one available ). You can read this article on my blog about creating a meditation space in your home.]

You’ll also want to get your pillow, or blankets, ready, and any other items you’d like. (I like to light a scented candle for each meditation session).

I always set a timer when I meditate – there are many basic meditation apps that are free. Some of my favorites are the Insight Timer, Headspace (starts with a free trial), or Smiling Mind (designed for kids, but grownups might like it, too!).

If you’re just starting your practice, set your timer to 5 minutes.

My Simple, 5-Step Guide to Meditation

* You may want to listen to the audio meditation included in this lesson (scroll down to the bottom of the page to access).

1. Take a deep breath, and bring your attention to your posture. If you are seated, you want to be upright, but not rigid, in a dignified posture. Imagine you are sitting against a tree, or a wall. Think of your head as resting comfortably on the top of your spine. As you take these first deep breaths, bring your awareness to your physical body – you’ve probably spent most of your day in your head, so take a moment to ground yourself in your body.

2. Bring your attention to your anchor (see below) – to the breath (in the nose, chest, or abdomen), to the body, or to the sounds in the room). You don’t need to control your breathing, just as you don’t need to control the sounds in the room. Let your breath breathe itself. Let the sounds come to YOU, rather than actively trying to hear them.

3. If your anchor is the breath, you may find it helpful to count the breaths. Count to 10, and then start over. You likely will find your mind wandering well before you get to 10 – that’s okay! If you notice your mind has wandered away, just bring your attention back to your anchor, and start again at 1. And again…

4. This is when your mind will go nuts. You’re gonna start thinking about dinner … and whether bees know they’re going to die when they sting you … and who you need to be following on Twitter … THIS IS NORMAL. It’s what I call the cognitive vomit of the brain. Don’t try to stop the thoughts. Just notice them. Be curious about them! (There’s more about dealing with thoughts in the next lesson).

5. When the bell or timer rings, take three more deep breaths. Notice the state of your mind and body now, compared to before you began your meditation session. Notice what thoughts or emotions came up during your practice. You may find it helpful to journal afterwards about your experience.

That’s it! Simple, but not easy. It might look boring from the outside, but this is POWERFUL MENTAL TRAINING! Each time you bring your attention back to your anchor, you are strengthening your mind’s ability to concentrate. You’re building greater awareness of your body, your mind, and your emotions. You’re strengthening the neural pathways in your brain for paying attention. The sun may not be shining out of your head, but you’re doing brilliant work!

Happy practicing!

Finding Your Anchor — Guided Meditation

Listen here….

or here: Anchor Meditation